talk to the computer

has been a while since I blogged. probably left blogging since I left college?

working was not as fun as anybody would have thought.

growing up to be an adult is WORSE!

since i've joined this industry,
dealing with passengers is nothing.
dealing with colleagues just raised the bar of tolerance.
dealing with loved ones around you is just another level.
dealing with people who DOES NOT respect you, and yet you have to tolerate whatever happens, and still remain calm, that's a whole new level.

physically maxed out...
mentally worn out...
emotionally ... =/

pray not just for everyday's safety...
pray that.....................

为什么要这样对待自己，为什么不可以过的好好的。
真的真的好难受。
哭了又能怎样。辛苦的还不是自己吗。

从小到大，爸妈教我们如果要人家对你好，要先对人家好。因为一直以来都相信每一样事情的发生都有因果。如果还没学到怎么对人好，至少懂得尊敬别人吧。可是当你对人家好，反而被人家利用，那种感受，那种的痛，是无法形容的。

显。

college chapter

yes that 4.5 years in college ended a month plus ago...

that college kid chapter is all done...

i'm proud of myself for struggling through my undergrad yet unhappy because i'm no longer a STUDENT or rather COLLEGE KID!

ahhhhhh life of a college kid is awesome.... i wished it didnt end!

oh well HI NEW CHAPTER...

=)

hope it will be all good...

p/s: just in case you dont get why do i call uni as college, it's an American thing....people here are not status conscious hence college/uni are the same...

i am, no, i meant WAS, in college of arts and sciences instead of faculty of xxx...

anyway, college makes me feel younger...

dont think so?

:p

life of ...

a biochemistry senior...

biochem is cool?

apparently NOT...

i have to go through 22 scientific papers just to write the freaking 8 pages single spacing paper and it took me more than 10 freaking days to finish it...

by the time it's due, i almost puke everything from inside...

got so sick of it!!!

if you think biochem is to clone human beings...

i think i would love it more...

anyway, graduating senior's life is awesome...

i'm loving my senior year...

did i mention?

dad and mum are bout to board?

they are cominggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!

after 2 years, now we see each other again...

too many people, 2 years is a long time but oh well...time flies... :p

why are they coming?

did you see my desktop picture..?!

=DDD

i loveeeee that picture though it's from my friend...

*mad love*

it has been a while

i know, right?

i was so lazy to do anything this semester even though i have only 2 classes...not working anymore now...

i just slack all my time away!

=DDD

it's just so senior! right?!

although there's lots of other craps happening i'm actually loving this semester a lot!

so yea i've decided to go home...

and i've this horrible/unpleasant/sucky mixed feelings in me

i'm really excited to go home to see my grandmother, my sister and of course my little one...!!! :)

actually i think i'm excited to see all the people whom i have not seen them for YEARSSS

BUT i have this reluctant-to-leave/heavy hearted feelings too

i felt like the friends in college are those who grow up with you into the working world...

that's the time you start to learn how to appreciate/value things around you, unlike the primary/high school period...

THAT'S THE THING I WILL MISS MOST...

the college life and the friends...

the parties...the drinking sessions...the movies...hang out sessions... etc...

and i dont want to leave these awesome stuff!

i guess...

i had my share...

so yea...main point here is that...

I'M GOING HOME (for good but temporary)...!!!

=DDD

actually

my dad still checks on my blog!!! hahaha

love dad...

what makes me love him more is the way he replies me in my emails

email subject: fly/drive/walk/swim to Lincoln from LA :p

dad's reply: yes will do that fly/drive/walk/swim but not crawl

my love... :)

real posts soon...i promise...

seriously

michelle lam...

what is your next step?

it's already february...may 7th is just 3 months away...

had a good lecture yesterday that made me realized that i really do not have time to relax anymore...

michelle lam...

be motivated and finish up the freaking paper!

and plan for the next step...

=/

i need motivation...i'm so disappointed again with the freaking GELS! i need the freaking bands! i need to complete the freaking paper!

science...

is awesome yet annoying

it will not work if it doesnt have the right composition...

i am so unsure bout the future after may 7th...i'm so DEAD...!

hahaha

for one whose parents were so worried that she cant cook for herself...

she might die of hunger if she doesnt go out to eat...

NOW

she's sharing her recipes and teaching others how to cook...

i'm so proud of myself now! :p

okay, i'm not pro but at least i can cook hokkien mee?

tomyam beehoon?

pork chop?

bake tonnes of cakes?

etc...

=DDD

it's coming to an end

undergrad is ending

as well as my work :(

i remember the first day i went up to the professor asking if he accepts any undergraduates in the lab

he happily said yes and introduced me to the people there, christophe and andre (he left not long after i joined)...

didnt know what to expect but took me quite a while to get the hang of it and do things more efficiently...

christophe, my small boss or also my supervisor, had spent so much time and effort to train/guide me...for what i achieve now at work (co-authored his paper and preparing for the upcoming paper as first author), if it wasn't because of him, i wouldn't have achieve what i have today...

out of the workplace, he's my best friend...i couldn't ask anymore than this...he cooked for us, made sure i study well enough for exams, cared for us, partied with us, took good care of us...he's like a nanny to us...

soon...

he will be going somewhere else for good...i have mixed feelings; proud of him as he will soon be done with his phd, sad that i will not see him again anytime soon...

seriously, i wish he could attend the commencement...i wish i could share the proudest moment with him (of course, after my family)...if it wasn't because of all his guidance these two years, i guess i'm still an undergrad in the lab washing tubes...

will you stay till at least may 7th noon? =/

i will miss you buddy! =)

i should be

reading up the crystallography paper which is due tomorrow at 930am!

write up my european version of resume

looking for jobs

apply for thousands of job openings

upload more photos of lisbon

and the list continues

but

i'm here lying on the bed, under the most comfortable and warmest comforter on earth, browsing through some old pics from friends

and they reminded me of how much fun we had at the tennis courts/trips...

though i didnt join the penang team to as many tournaments as most of them did but it was certainly good time...

sitting under the scorching sun cheering for our team mates, travelling round malaysia for tournaments, staying in crappy and sometimes good hotels...

reminisced the first ever tournament i participated (msspp 2000 u-12 girls in crc), playing against the best player at that time who was 2 years younger than me and kicked my ass...

haha...good times...

i'm wondering where else in penang did i not play...probably had played in all the courts in penang

now that most of us have changed...i guess not many of us are still playing tennis as much...

how much i miss tennis

*sigh*

back in action...

it has been a while since i scribble some words here... =)

2010 really flew by so quickly that i didnt realize it was over 14 days ago...

2010 started off pretty rough, almost exactly a year ago i fell out of love, then had some friendship problems and etc...however all these bits and pieces had made me realize how to deal with people better...i personally think that i've grown up even more mature than before, perhaps a 24/25 year old adult...perhaps, the people i hung out with since April were mostly above 25 year old, i tend to think like one of them...no, i'm not complaining. however, i love them even more because they are at least 4/5 years more experience than me. even though i'm just a listener, i try to digest their experiences and advices...

i always believe in: if you are out of that comfort zone, you're growing up...or when you reminisce and laugh at yourself, that's when you've grown up

things got better since the Redox Biology Retreat in April...everybody from the lab were much more closer to each other...and spent even more time with each other throughout summer holidays...

2010 ended with a blast with a paper i co-authored with christophe...that was my biggest achievement in life ever even though i'm not sure if that will help me in my next step of life...

beside the rough beginning, i think i did not waste any bit of my 21 year old moment! i enjoyed myself to the fullest...I TRAVELLED SO MUCH that i couldnt believe myself...the states i've been to only during summer:

- chicago, illinois

- west lafayette, indiana

- des moines, iowa

- colorado

- utah

- arizona

and best of all to portugal that has been a great experience and eye opener...i really fell in love with the quality of life there...i love how things work in europe or at least i could only say portugal since i've only been to portugal most of my 3 weeks, 2 hours in spain for a coffee...

after spending 2 winters in lincoln, didnt really celebrated christmas, i finally managed to spend christmas with friends' families...and having a bunch of new friends to end the year and welcome a new year was definitely awesome!

and now i miss all of them in portugal :( for one thing i missed most is the weather...more reasons for me to hate lincoln and to get the crap out of here ASAP!

so 2011 has been great so far despite having only 6 credit hours of classes (which suck a lot, cz i'm f*cking BOREDDDDD) 20 hours max of work in the lab...3 hours of french class every week because i'm too bored and i need to do something...

one thing i've learnt and will try to keep it up for this 2011 is to keep on improving myself by reading more...i felt that we, most malaysians really are like the little frog in the well...the amount of news we care about or the amount of books we read are just almost invisible...at least for me, i think i really have a lot to catch up with what's going on in this world...for one thing i hate bout malaysian newspapers is the news they published! it's either WHO DIED TODAY (robbed and murdered/raped and murdered/heart attack/etc) or boring malaysian politicians arguing for nothing...OR the world news they covered is like nothing is happening in the world...

wishing everybody a good 2011... =)

might be

the last post for 2010...

yours truly will take a 3 week break from school/blogger/enjoying holidays...

happy winter break...

merry christmas and happy new year...

=DDD

love love..

whoaaaa!!!

guess what...

i've done with P Chem!!!

exams was at 10am, ended at noon...

i think i did pretty bad...

what is more shocking is i received the results at 330pm!

my TA is like lightning!

she finished marking 50+ papers in 3 1/2 hrs...

she's awesome...

confirm grades tonight... =)

at least, i'm pretty sure no more P Chem forever! =DDD

oh yea...

*pls click to enlarge*

the present from thanksgiving!

something big i've accomplished in my student life =)

winter so far...

has been good...

guess what we had today

people are in shorts! o.O

good things wont last long...

flurries on saturday...

if winter keeps up in this way, i will love to stay here... too bad i had experienced the worst! apparently according to some americans, last year was the worst winter they ever had in their entire life in lincoln...should feel proud to experience that in my 2 years of winter, no?!

=)))

okay since there is no snow till today, can you please snow after i get out from chicago? that will be my best christmas present ever! and i dont mind if it continues snowing when i should be back.... :p

hi...

dead week...

feeling rather relax just to finish up all the assignments...

glad that i survived my p chem exam 3 even though it sucked kinda bad...but at least i can say HEY I'M DONE WITH P CHEM....and i survived from my biochem major! =)

this semester passed real fast comparatively to other semesters which were dreadfully l-o-n-g...after this week will be finals and i'm a semester away from my mortar board...

quite satisfied with this semester... =)

i've achieved quite a bit this semester too!

first science paper published as second author..!!

survived P Chem (hardest subject in uni comparing with all the other subjects from all colleges)

had lots of fun especially in geography in-class and out of class... =DDD

one last round of sleepless week next week and i will be done for the semester!!!

hiyakkkkkkkkk....

ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

awesome-ness

a reply in an email:

Your manuscript has been accepted, and I am forwarding it to the ASM Journals Department for publication.

the paper got accepted?!?!?!?!

*l.o.v.e*

even though i'm not the 1st author, I'm happy too!

one more on the way... =DDD

THANK YOUUUUU!!!

best thanksgiving present ever!

i'm in ...

dilemma

WTF... :(

so here's the question...i wanted to learn an extra language (apparently knowing 5 languages is not enough for me?) hahahaha

and there are 2 choices...FRENCH vs SPANISH...

the classes are both at the same price, same location different days...

why i'm in dilemma..

i wasnt convinced that french is widely spoken in europe than spanish so i googled and actually after learning much from world geography, spanish is widely used in south america, US and western africa...french is used in some parts of africa too...!!!

so most europeans speak ..?

english? lol...

i think it's german...

BUT I DONT WANT!!!

=(

i will be speaking zankiu soon! noooooooo

the next question is where will i go after graduation?

so which one will help me more in the future?

choices..choices...

T.T

more dilemmas...

should i find a job in US?

or in aussie?

or in spore?!

can somebody just throw me a good job offer without me thinking so much?!

i promise i will work hard if i'm granted with good pay, living standards and benefits...

~!@#$%^&*

o.m.g...

this week is DREADFUL...

like freaking dreadful...i felt so zombie-fied!

after exams on thu, while walking back from class to lab, i practically sleep walked...i closed my eyes while walking cz my eyes hurt so bad that it's like they were exploding anytime...

i had an assignment due on mon,

a take home quiz due on tue,

a lab report and a problem set due on wednesday,

exams on thu,

an assignment due on fri...

and that doesnt end there...

TWO more exams on monday...

since when there's 9 days a week?

i had to start working on stuff since last sun and all these craps will only end next monday...

procrastination kills big time...

even though you know you should not procrastinate...somehow...

=DDD

very good trait of a student...

hey...SNOW!!!!

while i'm typing this out...there's snow out there!

here comes winter...

also here comes END OF YEAR

also here comes jolly holi-cember!

=DDD

a better plan...

since i didnt want to commit suicide so early...

i've changed plans again...

oh yeahhhhh the usual me... indecisive and plans will not stop changing until I'm really into it...

but i'm still into food science and tech or food tech...

i've just enrolled into meat investigation and food product development! =)

wanted food dairy and tech but it's the prof i didnt like...cz i've been skipping most of his classes now! :p

i've 3 courses from the FDST now...*food science minor?*

so yea i'm planning to get a job in industry first in anywhere except any states in the midwest, PLEASE!! :( for a year...

then to graduate school in probably aussie... o.O!!

lol

last few days, i thought i would continue in UNL but not anymore...

i freaking hate the weather here cz it made me go cranky especially when the weather goes right down to -xxC!!

so in the next one year, i will try to gain as much experience as i can, prepare as much as i can to enter grad school and save as much as i can to continue studying...

sounds like a better plan huh!

will see when is the next time my plans change AGAIN...

*keeping fingers cross, no more changes*

haha...

it MIGHT change if i find a rich, old-enough dude along the way...

*evil grin*

o.m.g...

i had the weirdest dream last night...!!!

i remember the dream so vividly...and the dream made me OVERSLEPT and so i skipped class! =DDD

i dreamed that i was LATE for my commencement/graduation!!!

fml...

and and and

i was so out of mind that i wore a halloween witch costume before i put my graduation gown/robe on!

lmao!

then then then!!!

i put on the witch hat but not mortar board!!!

LOL!!!

the commencement starts at 11am (in my dreams) but i started getting dressed up at 10.30!

i remember i have to put the "class of 2011" words on my mortar board so that my sis can see me from the top!!!!! but i didnt prepare that!!! and so i did that in 10 mins!!!

when i wanted to put on some make up it was already 1055!!! =(

i'm so gonna miss my commencement!

is that a sign for graduates-to-be?

LMAO